you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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