I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
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Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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