We won't sleep together?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
