...so i touched it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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