Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you

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(415): mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you http://tfl.nu/75lg

Replies (3) Good night (2643) Bad night (701)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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(918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz

Replies (15) Good night (756) Bad night (5226)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

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(651): make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS. (1-651): I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much. http://tfl.nu/xzl0

Replies (40) Good night (3980) Bad night (5175)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma

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(513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma http://tfl.nu/x4vk

Replies (16) Good night (1011) Bad night (3828)
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(970): View more from Colorado

And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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(970): And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on http://tfl.nu/lu1l

Replies (18) Good night (7725) Bad night (1448)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

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(785): Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/ucck

Replies (14) Good night (4750) Bad night (1568)
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(404): View more from Georgia

All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.

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(404): All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time. http://tfl.nu/nzqv

Replies (6) Good night (2983) Bad night (1169)
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(847): View more from Illinois

just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

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(847): just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain". http://tfl.nu/ukpa

Replies (26) Good night (14777) Bad night (1408)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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(215): I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse. http://tfl.nu/a9fq

Replies (6) Good night (1670) Bad night (908)
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(707): View more from California

I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.

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(707): I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/fbru

Replies (9) Good night (3764) Bad night (891)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?

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(603): Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message? http://tfl.nu/3a2d

Replies (3) Good night (1410) Bad night (573)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

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(612): Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all. http://tfl.nu/jmi7

Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (922)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head

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(412): I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head http://tfl.nu/38tu

Replies (3) Good night (1499) Bad night (660)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.

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(647): Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May. http://tfl.nu/snqw

Replies (9) Good night (1578) Bad night (617)
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(718): View more from New York

She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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(718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6

Replies (10) Good night (1302) Bad night (1045)

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