I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered