i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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