Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize