it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
