i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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