do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize