Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
