i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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