I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Welp...herpes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
