i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
