all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
