I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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