Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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