the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize