I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
