I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Actions speak louder than pants.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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