new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
