We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
