Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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