it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
