im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
