I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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