I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
