Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
