you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
