Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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