he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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