so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
