so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
