talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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