Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
