We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
