my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
