I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
