school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
