Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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