why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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