I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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