you win again, gameday.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
