If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
