I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
