and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize