Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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