Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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