Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
