i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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