I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
someone threw a dead crab at me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
