We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
