I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I FOUND THE LEGS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize