Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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