So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
