i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
