he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
