I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
