we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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