theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
