I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
