I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
