Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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