I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
bring money and cleavage
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
