Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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