first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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