i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize