why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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