You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
