Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won? http://tfl.nu/7jg6
  Replies (29) Good night (2021) Bad night (3589)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop. http://tfl.nu/n7ra
  Replies (48) Good night (3910) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted http://tfl.nu/5rf7
  Replies (6) Good night (2538) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2686) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart http://tfl.nu/bwi5
  Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (3752)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight" http://tfl.nu/ny0o
  Replies (4) Good night (1501) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/bc5t
  Replies (14) Good night (1703) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories. (972): Wine is not your friend. http://tfl.nu/ofhm
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever http://tfl.nu/gnyf
  Replies (8) Good night (1593) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40. http://tfl.nu/6iay
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  did i really sing to your nipples last night?

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  yes. and it was oddly very seductive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): did i really sing to your nipples last night? (731): yes. and it was oddly very seductive http://tfl.nu/t5a8
  Replies (2) Good night (1578) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants. http://tfl.nu/xbb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1354) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again. http://tfl.nu/tjdc
  Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like. http://tfl.nu/0urz
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces http://tfl.nu/di36
  Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (448)

Randomize