Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.

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  (253): I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby. http://tfl.nu/itl7
  Replies (9) Good night (631) Bad night (2737)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.

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  (443): Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality. http://tfl.nu/y8py
  Replies (8) Good night (3456) Bad night (768)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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  (248): so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience http://tfl.nu/77ps
  Replies (16) Good night (771) Bad night (4222)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  ra ra ra ah ah

  (573): View more from Missouri

  wtf?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  sexting lady gaga style

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  (636): ra ra ra ah ah (573): wtf? (636): sexting lady gaga style http://tfl.nu/2d0r
  Replies (59) Good night (5187) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  I really wish I could say this is a new low for you

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  (201): Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop (551): I really wish I could say this is a new low for you http://tfl.nu/0p1x
  Replies (11) Good night (950) Bad night (3907)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated

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  (585): you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated http://tfl.nu/r9p5
  Replies (11) Good night (5895) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4437) Bad night (820)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.

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  (810): maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me. http://tfl.nu/khu4
  Replies (18) Good night (963) Bad night (2224)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.

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  (601): Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall. http://tfl.nu/qd0i
  Replies (7) Good night (2796) Bad night (932)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did

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  (732): 90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did http://tfl.nu/76ya
  Replies (9) Good night (2571) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is the high leading the old right now

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  (865): This is the high leading the old right now http://tfl.nu/zdtd
  Replies (1) Good night (1297) Bad night (694)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

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  (304): He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered. http://tfl.nu/u1qq
  Replies (20) Good night (2244) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes

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  (216): 5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes http://tfl.nu/ja2o
  Replies (8) Good night (1578) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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  (719): Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done. http://tfl.nu/9qf5
  Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.

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  (587): I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast. http://tfl.nu/t2q0
  Replies (6) Good night (586) Bad night (401)

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